Hey, it’s me.
Don’t hurt my ego, it’s already bruised
a memoire or not
Acknowledgments
To my friends and family: thank you for listening to every story—some more than once—reading all the screenshots, offering questionable advice, and standing by me through my questionable decisions. Your unwavering support means the world to me.
Special Thanks
To my mom, whose incredible moral support and steadfast confidence have guided me through every twist and turn. And to my dad, whose unique wisdom has reminded me, in his own way, that "all men really want is pussy." Your unconventional words have left a lasting impact on my journey.
Disclaimer
Thank you all so much, and remember to take everything within each scroll with a grain of salt unless told otherwise.
And I swear a lot… fuck, sorry!
MEN FROM THE ARCHIVES
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MEN FROM THE ARCHIVES *
GERALD
I know you are fond of me and admire the way I live my life, but unfortunately all this has a price. Gerald, I’m going to be a little bit rude, but if ever something were to happen between us it’s just impossible for me to commit to a single man. With me, love stories are not written in length, they are short stories, compact and passionate.
I don’t know how to live another way, Gerald. Some people have adventures, and I am the adventure.
JANNICK
I think about you often … more than I’d like to admit. I talk about you to anyone who would listen to me. I remember your music and the way you drive. I fucking loved the way you drive. I never thought I’d love a man in an orange Jeep but you obviously won my heart. I love when other orange jeeps creep on me on the streets, but it’s not the same. I'm wondering when I’ll ever get to ride you again.
Pick me up, I love you!!!
DAVID
Since i left your place last Saturday, I played your song 1948 times and I’m still not bored of it. I’ve created so many scenes of us undressing each other while this is blasting on your Sonos. And you know when you would call me princess? You texted me “Good morning Princess”. Is it real? Am I your princess? Why did you call me princess if you didn’t want to treat me like one? Is it because I’m a dirty Arab and you’re a dirty Jew? And oil and vinegar don’t mix as much as we’d like them to?
PS: guess we’re just like the region — totally complicated, a bit messy, but there’s some spicy potential.
